Right now i'm sitting in the lap of luxury. I'm pretty sure this bed has 3 down comforters and my apologies go to the family of ducks that it took to make my comfort. I'm in the omni hotel thanks to alison and it couldnt be better. there's a pool and a gym i have every intention of taking advantage of while she's at work. it was super cute that we just stayed up all night having 'girl talk' and watching the meditation channel. juice and coffee was delivered to the door, along with a copy of usa today. its a good thing too because there's an expose piece on 'snuggies.' thank you usa today, thank you. i've been trying to set the self timer of my camera to capture me jumping from one bed to the next but its not easy and i'm getting tired.
i had a job interview yesterday and I have to say, i looked awesome.
also, while on craigslist i found someone special:
I am a carmel complexion Diva, 5'8 voluptious, pretty in the face a little thick in the waist. I have my own, car (2) home and a professional. From up north. Never been with anyone in VA. I am considered sexy and attractive. I am out going and a people's person. I love jazz, gospel, reggae and R&b music. I am a writer and poet. Looking for a MAN who can keep it real. Have no time for drama. I love to look nice . Carry myself as the woman I am. Eatible from head to toes. I am a little shy, but very out going and love to help people. Need a guy that can tame that tiger in me, and bring it out
Out: 'Baby doll dresses' or anything resembling them
Why: If I even have a casual conversation with you I will constantly hear things like, "hey, I saw you talking to that pregnant girl" or "who was that preggy lil hottie" if its drew.
Out: Jeans without back pockets
Why: I remember when I first saw the mona lisa and i thought, "gross, what's wrong with her, she looks busted" then I realized it was that she had no eyebrows.
Out: Loud burping
Why: I get it, you're edgy, your hip, you don't care what the establishment thinks, whatever. The fact is you're not sarah silverman and the girl at the end of the bar is vomiting and then trying to see if guys are desperate enough to kiss her afterwards. There's always someone cooler than you so 'don't do something because you think its cool, do it because you're cool' -lil wayne.
I'm going to post about my trip to the inaugeration, but I was just looking at some of jenny's pics from the long weekend and I realized another thing I hate about the cold. At a certain point, everyone looks homeless.
pics stolen from jenny miller's hecks kitchen
As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly...
So it looks like the main objective that I was trying to achieve by being in Egypt (career) is the one thing I'm going to take 2 steps behind on. Apparently, there are 1000 ex circuit city employees vying for the same positions I've been applying for. So do you take a job you don't really want or do you just go hungry?
Plan: Take the job, write in my spare time, try to get freelance writing jobs, take the GRE's, buy a motorcycle, reevaluate.
Thanks be to the curse of Adam for the endless toiling I must do.
Then, on top of that, I watched that movie Max Payne with my dad tonight. It made me remember what a bad movie really is. It's a shame, I like Mark Wahlberg, especially in I Heart Huckabees, but that movie tonight was a turd's turd. Then on top of that, I realized that Itunes made me lose that Cheap Trick album that Steve Albini produced. I feel like I was finally 'getting it' and it was just stripped away.
Bright side: I want for nothing. In the future I will come home to an adorable tony and eva on a daily basis. I will live down the street from Yall'z Grille in a week or so. There's a good chance Dave might move to fist city. I'm listening to Sunny Day Real Estate. I'm at my parent's house, which is full of love, food, and heat. I'm going to stay up late and read comic books.
Conclusion: Life has been better, but it's been way worse. I've never had life not work out for the awesome so I'm just curious to see what's next
Why doesn't anyone else seem to hate itunes as much as I do?
I hate that I have to use this program. I know there are other programs that I can use, and I do, but the problem is that I like the 'genius' feature and if I plug in my ipod to my computer it deletes everything. I hate the fact that I can't just drag and drop folders of music onto itunes. All of my music has just been deleted for the 3rd time in as many weeks.
I'm going to just say it: I hate apple's mentality that computing and the transfer of data has to be 'cute' or 'cool' or 'proprietary'. I grew up with drew building computers, installing 9600 bps modems as an upgrade. Dos was logical. If you want the elitist sensation that an apple provides, just learn linux. I don't care that when I delete something it makes a 'fun' animation, I just want to make sure its deleted, not from the 'library', but off of my computer.
This is what happens when the focus switches from 'function' to 'design'.
So, if you want to spend 2500+ on a new mac that makes you look super cool when you check your email, twitter, or vlog, go for it. Then, when it comes time to upgrade and you don't have any options and it costs you more than most car repairs, I'll be laughing, as I swap out the broken part with a spare one someone has lying around their house.
Sure there are problems, and pc's are frustrating too, but I hate hate Itunes.
Well, i picked the worst economical time to move back to the states. I'd post more, but all my spare internet time is spent looking for work in/around Richmond. If you can relieve me of this stress, please let me know. I will work just about anywhere/do just about anything.
After I get this taken care of I will post about the inauguration and how cold cold can be.
I would recommend buying 'put' stock options on apple (aapl) because it looks like steve jobs is dying, or steve jobs looks like he's dying. Either way, it's down almost 7% after hours and i'm sure it'll keep going down for a couple days because he's taking leave as the ceo. All i'm saying is that a properly invested 1000 could be 3000 in 2 days if you know what you're doing and i am in no way qualified to give that advice. my prediction is that its below 75 a share within 2 days.
also, did bernie mac die? I was looking at martin show clips and one said 'bernie mac r.i.p.'
i did stumble on a chris tucker standup where he talks about how there could never be a black president because he would have bbq's and shoot people, he was 20 at the time. Then i saw a more recent one where he 'disses lil wayne', he looked really fat, high, and the jokes weren't funny.
here's some funny chris tucker (aka the best parts of Money Talks):
I can't find the new Mates of State or any The Magic Numbers albums for download.
If you have these albums please let me know.
Also, if you've been listening to anything that has been making your ears moist, let me know.
I've been listening to the new Matt & Kim (grand vo) , Vetliver (tight knit), and the new Animal Collective cds. I think all three are a good quality showing, the Matt and Kim album is their best yet, the Vetliver is still doing quality upbeat slow jams, and the Animal Collective makes dave feel like he's doing acid. I've also been revisiting Jenjune's Afternoon Malady, one of my repeat plays when i was 17. It's basically Rockinghorse Winner but with some street cred.
Other than that, I've been applying to jobs, looking for a place to live, looking at graduate programs, relaxing at the parents, and generally trying to get life set up.
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Now playing: Matt & Kim - I Wanna
via FoxyTunes
For a handful of solid personal reasons I have decided to return to America. I will miss Egypt, or most of it, the friends that I made there, the kindness I was shown, the people I met, etc. My experience there has left me changed, if even in a small way, and I will be forever grateful. I don't get as anxious about a lack of personal space, quality of air, and I realize how little I need to be happy. I also developed an appreciation for my country that I had all but written off. I may never want a taquito. ever. but i'm glad I can get them at any time, day or night. I'm glad I can go to a diner called 'ya'llz' and play rock band with friends until an hour after the doors are shut. It's the simple things. It's sleeping on couches and being woken up to a dog licking your mouth, but you have a bandana on your eyes because its too bright in the room so you couldnt be more confused.
Damn your super thin eyelids!
It's about friends, its about family, its about making things happen.
Right now i'm going to make it happen in richmond and i'm going to see more of my family and friends...i just need a job and a place to live.
Thanks to everyone who has seen me in the last week and been genuinely excited that i'm staying. It has meant a lot ot me.
Every single review i read lately for anything in the 'folk/alt country' genre always uses the word 'haunting' as a positive adjective.
Last night I listened to the Boss' Nebraska with friends until 5am.
It was a hauntingly good time.
It's been the longest layover ever. Fortunately, everyone here in Kokomo is great and very accommodating. This really is the place to go to get away from it all. I tried to get money from the ATM and it just shot out clam shells. THAT'S THE CURRENCY HERE! It's great, and once a week there's a town meeting around a bon fire on the beach to discuss town business.
The downside is that all the music sucks and there's about 69 guys that 'kind of' know how to play 2 songs each. if i have to hear one more cover of wonderwall or champagne supernova i'm going to go crazy. also, if i hear 'jah-makin me crazy' one more time i'm going to fork stab someone.
also, i dont like pina coladas.
i wonder if they'll really vote me off? I wonder if i'll get sent back to America?
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Now playing: The Beach Boys - Can't Wait Too Long
via FoxyTunes
Lebanon just had some 'splinter groups' launch an attack on Israel, forcing zion to fight a war on two fronts. France and Egypt are trying the diplomatic route and the US is still giving Israel more money than it gives every other country combined, thanks to military ties like Project Jericho. Meanwhile, a handful of people are taking up slingshots in a modern day David and Goliath to fight for the right to not live in refugee camps, but their homes. They don't fight for the right to control oil or global expansion, they fight for their families, their freedoms. They are outnumbered, outmanned, outgunned, outfunded, but they still give their lives. The media portrays them the same way it portrayed native americans, as savages who use dirty fighting methods. The same way slaves that rebeled where seen as gruesome murderers, Palestinians are lumped in with Al Qaeda in the minds of Americans. But when all you have to fight with is a shovel, a pickax, a slingshot, or a stick, every kill is going to be gruesome, every kill is going to make you look like you've lost your mind.
Stick me in a refugee camp for decades, marginalize my existence, take away my basic freedoms, and kill my family and i will lose my mind. Of course, one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist. But if it's all about perception, maybe Hamas and friends just need a new PR firm to represent them. Remember when R. Kelly got busted peeing on a 13 yr old girl and then released Remix to Ignition and everyone was instantly cool with the peeing thing? Maybe Palestinians just need a hot album.
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Now playing: Animal Collective - My Girls
via FoxyTunes
Since my flight still isn't leaving for a while, I decided to explore outside the airport. So i put on my Ward disguise, dressed up as a pretty lady, and got to take a tour with a giant inflatable shrimp!
life couldnt be better right now. man, shrimps would look a lot cooler if they wore hats and sunglasses. this also applies to dogs, robots, and wizards but not cats or whole cooked pigs (which i see a lot of around here).
i've already been offered a job as a scuba instructor because someone mistook my glasses for goggles. i dont think that its a reputable organization based on the fact that they offered some random guy wearing goggles around in public, or so they thought. i guess it shows equal levels of dedication and insanity.
I just got this email from Dave, who rode his motorcycle in dc's nasty weather to teach inner city kids maths.
"Today while I was researching zicam loss of smell for a student who was huffing this plastic cold stick thing I discovered the word for loss of smell is "amnosia". I hope someone got a PhD for coining that."
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Now playing: The Egyptian Lover - Egypt, Egypt
via FoxyTunes
So my 16 hours layover has turned into a 22 hour layover, as the flight has been delayed multiple times. I guess i could be in a worse place, but i took a photo of me killing time at the airport. While they were refueling our plane, seen in photo, i took the opportunity to entertain the masses with my acoustic, jose gonzalez style rendition of Cheeseburgers in Paradise. Its been a day since i've slept so i got so into it that i started to cry a little. 
i thought it was funniest at the end when he starts talking about snakes and then makes up an hilarious quote.
My flight leaves in 2 hours.
Airport wifi is expensive
Dave and i made soup, it was delicious 2.0
We watched 'The Wrestler'. I found it to be dull.
My layover is 16 hours long. lame.
At least its in Kokimo
'Big ups' to all my 'dawgs' for letting me sleep on their couch, eat their food, drink their drinks, etc. I had a great time on my visit and everyone has been more than accommodating. During this trip I have wanted for nothing, except maybe more sleep. I got to do lots of karaoke, dancing, eating, relaxing, funning, etc. All of you prove that i have great taste in human beings. Great job.
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Now playing: Sean Na Na - Princess and the Pony
via FoxyTunes
Let's get personal.
I dont think i've been this conflicted since i graduated college.
I'm leaving in 2 days to go back to a third world country where I barely make enough money to survive and where my social life isn't complex(?) as it is here in the states. i'm saying goodbye to friends i've had for most of my life again, and this time its more bitter than sweet for some reason. i question how much i'm really accomplishing by being there and what i might accomplish by being here.
life seems to be a personal balancing act between 'fun/adventure' and 'safety/security.' Some people lean more toward 'safety/security' and get just enough 'fun/adventure' to be able to have something to talk about at the office monday morning. Then there's the opposite, the kids that live in squats in portland or rhode island, surviving on the excess of society.
I feel like I just ride the fence. my lack of commitment, or as i like to call it, my desire for complete and total freedom, has existed for so long i'm not sure I even know how to 'settle down'. I've always figured i'd cross that bridge when i got to it, but i have no idea if i'll ever know when i get to the bridge, or if it even exists.
i remember approaching graduating with a great deal of dread, which stemmed from everything everyone had ever told me about 'the real world'. I didnt know how i was going to support myself in 'the real world' or how to do a lot of the basic 'adult' things, like ironing. i eventually found out that the real world doesn't exist unless you want it to, or have a kid, and if you put a shirt in the dryer for a minute then wear it, its good enough.
'life is what you make it' is a pretty solid bumper sticker way to live life, but what happens when you don't know what to make?
Looking back on it, i know i've made a lot of great things happen and i've had an amazing life, but now its like i'm at a restaurant, i can't read the menu, and i'm asking everyone what they're ordering so i can get some sort of clue as to what i want. i'm also finding out that i'm not alone. very few people seem to know what to order, are just looking for a cause to fight for, or gave up long ago.
i try to focus on being happy with everything i'm dealt in life, but the problem with that is that it breeds apathy. I remember mediating on 'it's only when you see everything in life as banana peels that you will truly be happy'. it made a lot of sense at the time and provided a great deal of peace. i believe its true that our pain and sorrow stems from our wants and desires, but can happiness really come from a lack of wants and desires? I'm starting to think that a world made out of banana peels is pretty busted.
My fear is that if i commit to a place, a person, a job, that i cut myself off from all other options, thereby robbing myself of freedom. A lack of movement is an idicator of death. obviously, it seems like this sentiment is overly dramatic, but you only get one life and my youth is not something i want to waste. although, according to some, that ship has sailed and i just need to grow up.
So do I move back to the states and settle into a place for a few years, or do I keep traveling alone? Is there a middle ground?
'its about who you know' - traditionally applies to nepotism, but i think it holds true for all of life. The most valuable thing i have is my relationships with friends and family. I honestly believe that i have the most subjectively perfect friends/family and i would do anything for any of them. so maybe its not about where i am, but who i'm with and who i truly 'know'.
I've always said that richmond will be there when i get back, but if history is any indicator, i think that applies more to the pyramids.
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Now playing: Damien Jurado - Big Decision
via FoxyTunes
