I would recommend buying 'put' stock options on apple (aapl) because it looks like steve jobs is dying, or steve jobs looks like he's dying. Either way, it's down almost 7% after hours and i'm sure it'll keep going down for a couple days because he's taking leave as the ceo. All i'm saying is that a properly invested 1000 could be 3000 in 2 days if you know what you're doing and i am in no way qualified to give that advice. my prediction is that its below 75 a share within 2 days.
also, did bernie mac die? I was looking at martin show clips and one said 'bernie mac r.i.p.'
i did stumble on a chris tucker standup where he talks about how there could never be a black president because he would have bbq's and shoot people, he was 20 at the time. Then i saw a more recent one where he 'disses lil wayne', he looked really fat, high, and the jokes weren't funny.
here's some funny chris tucker (aka the best parts of Money Talks):
yes - bernie mac died this summer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_Mac