Tyrant
This alarm clock steals your mobile phone and randomly shuffles through your contact list and calls someone every three minutes after the desired wake up time.
alice wang
Oh! When it calls your co-workers and ex-girlfriends it says this
If I had liveblogged this I could have gotten work done today...
So where were we...oh yeah, The Bloody Bucket. A bar that is surprisingly diverse for being all white.
Anyway, since the beer was .83 cents a bottle and didn't taste different enough from PBR for me to care, there was a fair amount of drinking going on.
1am ish - Matt starts singing Heart of Gold by Neil Young. He ad libs his own lyrics and sings the praises of gastric bypass. Chris grabs Alison and says, "let's get up to the front, your man is singing." Someone hands me a shot of Hypnotique, a drink I didn't know was still being made in the US. A drink that should not be made anywhere. Krysta disappears. Turns out she 'feel ill' and had to be taken home.
2am - Matt and Alison get into a conversation with 'Bear' that involved, "This tattoo of a bear was really just to cover up what was there before...69...breakfast of champions. I was going to get teeth and blood on it but i was afraid it would scare the grandkids" Not as much as the idea of grandad 69'n. Anyway, at some point I realize the bar is closing/closed and step outside. I realize that I am outside of a Pepsi bottling plant in some industrial section of Baltimore. The faint smell of 'hitting bottom' wafts up towards my nose and mingles with the scent of either a dumpster or open sewage lines. Apparently, a woman sitting down on a milk crate, talking on a cell phone at 2am asked me if I was gay. I didn't hear this and Matt says that I was staring off half laughing to myself. Meanwhile one of the regular guys at the bar was standing around and a sketchy pool playing thug walks by and regular guy says 'don't worry partner, i dont think she was talking to you' to which sketchy pool playing thug replys 'your problem is that you dont love life.'
Then the rest of team drunk rolls out and 3 of Krysta's friend walk across the street to the pepsi plant and try to get into one of the big trucks. As they climb all over it a cop rolls by...and does nothing.
Niles then decides that he can drive all 7 people back to his place in a chevy calvalier (4-door model). We pile into the car with alison sitting on mean scenester girl, who basically reminded me of the girl in the movie Waiting that is really mean and flashes everyone to gross them out. She flashed no one though and was thus less interesting.
Up soon - Part 4 - Niles house
In case you're still in the dark, RZA (Bobby Digital) from the Wu Tang Clan has launched a hip hop chess playing website entitled: WuChess. There's a good article on NYT about it if you're interested. From the article, "Instead of a horse’s head, for example, the knight is a silhouette of a martial-arts fighter flying through the air."
Somewhere around midnight we are told that the place we need to be is called "The Bloody Bucket." Apparently, there is karaoke going down and it's going to be fun. '
When we arrive at a place that is unusually similar to Cruzers in Norfolk. Except instead of a dodgy brick building with a misspelled sign and filled to the brim with Filipinos, this place has no sign at all and is as well lit as your local Sheetz. One might even say that it is filled with sad shmeople downing drinkz. The upside? You can get a 6 pack of National Bohemian for 5 dollars, making it the only place cheaper than Richmond or Laos to drink. Matt also believes this to be a 'tasty beer'. I believe the 'taste' is heavy metals. First, the characters, then the events...
Cast of Characters:
Sketchy pool playing thugs - having difficult time playing pool in small crowded bar, especially when they have to shoot one handed as the other is pulling up their pants constantly. After some discussion it is agreed that they were malnourished as children causing their faces to look like they are constantly being pressed up against a window. Nonexistent window faces.
FGS - There's always one guy that thinks he's the life of the party. This was an overweight guy in his twenties singing every single song, he knew all the words to 'we didn't start the fire', he kept jumping on and off of the chairs, sliding across a floor almost too dirty to walk on, and ruining other people's duets. He made me thankful that my song "I Can't go for That" by Hall and Oates wasn't called.
Bear - An older, heavy set nice gentleman. A true regular of "The Bloody Bucket." He loves singing love songs with his wife and talking about his grandkids/tattoos.
Supporting Characters - Niles, Mean Scenester Girl, Gilligan, and other drunken friends.
I hate long posts and I'm really hungry.
To be continued...
the masquerade party - w4m - 21 (grace st)
Reply to: pers-****
Date: 2008-06-30, 11:10AM EDT
you were standing outside with your girl for awhile. you had on a little hat and a no-sleeved shirt, and rode a track bike with riser bars. you kept eyein' me, i think. i was sitting on the ground watching the fight. just sayin heyyy.
Matt's post on the events is concise, well worded and entertaining, just like Matt. I will give you a much much more detailed breakdown of what transpired, as best as I can remember it. Please note: times and conversations are estimates and we walked/cash cabbed everywhere unless otherwise noted.
5pm - Arrive in Baltimore. Meet up with Alison and Matt, head to dinner.
6pm - Dinner with Matt's friends. We went to the Owl Bar, an old speakeasy that had the same feel as a dungeon with creepy owl 'flare' all over. I drink a double white russian and listen to stories about Rock of Love, a show I have never seen. I hear a reference to 'season 1, episode 8' and finish the drink quickly. After talking about television the conversation moved to the internet and podcasting or minidisc casting.
8pm - We roll up to a brewery that seemed like it was in the basement of a basement. I think there was a designated creepy handjob room. I had beer that tasted the way potweed smells. Matt got a drink that proved to have too much flavor going on, a theme of the next 24 hours. The music was impressive and spanned from the Dead Kennedys to Har Mar Superstar.
9pm - We walk around inner harbor trying to ride a water taxi, the rain thwarts this mightily. We instead decide to find a bathroom and end up using the one inside the Hard Rock Cafe Baltimore, a shirt you've never seen anyone wear. A noticably drunk man makes the astute observation that Matt indeed 'Knows whats up.'
10pm- We meet up with Krysta's friends at another bar, and I order a round of drinks for everyone.
1015pm - Everyone is pissed that I ordered nothing but Tuaca and Barenjager (a honey liquor).
11pm - Finished everyone's drinks, make choice selections on the jukebox.
This concludes part one, as this is where things stop being 'normal' and get real Baltimore, real fast.
Thanks to Paul B. for this one:
Bicyclist hits bear while going 45 mph
BOULDER, Colo., June 26 (UPI) -- A Colorado man said he is glad he survived after hitting a large bear while traveling about 45 mph on his bicycle.
Tim Egan was on a bike ride in Boulder County when he had an unexpected collision with a bear he estimates weighed 500 pounds and was six feet tall, KCNC-TV, Denver, reported.
"This bear looked at me with a look of terror on his face and sort of made a noise. I looked at him with a look of terror and we went, 'aaaahhhhh'," Egan said.
Egan, 53, said his bike flipped over the bear and smacked the pavement before the huge animal ran away.
"When I tell people, they say 'Right, are you kidding me, who hits a bear?'" he said.
Egan said he was able to ride his bike to a medical center to get treatment for cracked ribs, cuts and abrasions after Tuesday's incident.
So I'm sitting here at work blogged out my mind and listening to Radiohead. The song No Surprises came on and I wondered if there would ever be a time in which I would take the lyrics more literally and less sarcastically. Will there be a time that I really do want a life with 'no alarms, no surprises'? We all think we won't, but we've all seen products of previous generations that have said the same thing and they ended up pretty much like everyone else. What happened?
I'd say that there is a part of me that will always want lukewarm coffee and a 'comfy' couch. If I were completely honest, I'd say it's a very very large part. The problem is that if I go the easy route and then late in life the small, adventure seeking part forms a coup, I won't have as many options. So off I go seeking adventure. Maybe by doing so you satiate that part and it stops pushing you to do things. Maybe the people that don't seek fun and adventure ignore it until it shrivels up and dies. I guess that's how so many people become so homogenized. In the end, the result is the same for most, fun/adventure is quiet and they live quiet lives of sitcoms and naps.
The difference is how you get to the end I guess.
But sometimes, that tiny part doesn't die. It's rare, but sometimes if you're really really good at fun you get to keep it. For example.
So I was reading the article about NC residents getting new license plates because the default prefix was WTF. I wasn't going to post it, although I love it when the internet shows up in real life. The real gem was a link in the article entitled 20 Internet Acronyms All Parents Should Know. You know most of them, but some of them (the picture on this post) are lol funny. Look at it, its just hands and it says GYPO then at the bottom left it says, "Get Your Pants Off."
One of the other really great things about this flash tutorial on acronyms is that you can turn off the caption at the bottom so you can quiz yourself! Brilliant.
An existing drug has been found to 'cure' autism and general retardedness in mice.
From the article:
'These studies "suggest that we're about to have a paradigm shift in how we look at developmental disorders, like autism," he explains. These illnesses should no longer be viewed as something a person is born with, according to Silva, who believes these disorders can be eliminated by altering the brain's biochemistry.'
Like I've always said, good drugs make good people better. Well, in this case, retarded mice.
qt followin me yesterday?? - w4m - 18 (vcu area)
Reply to: pers-733861969@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-26, 6:34PM EDT
u and sum other delish boyz walk out of panda vag. qts, even if u r gayyy or sumthingg, you should d8 one of my gay friendz. they r sexay. if u r not gay take me 2 dinner! iz u a vegan? 2 bad 4 me i lyk sum m3at ;)
If you are looking for redness relief that is like getting punched straight in the eyeball by Jack Frost, then these eyedrops are for you.
I've been using them for about 3 days now and I'm addicted. Sometimes your eyes need a 'cooling lubricant'. Visine is old hat, you need to feel some pain before you can fully realize real comfort.
My eyes are seriously so juicy right now.
Have you listened to the 'leaked' 9 songs off of the new Guns and Roses Chinese Democracy?
Apparently Axl Rose has spent a large portion of his life creating the worst album ever. I hear that it is going to be featured in the new movie, Turds, starring Shia Lebuff. Its a follow up to the movie Holes. Seriously, There is no audience for this album. Musical taste for most people has changed 3-4 times since he started this album. I hope your prepared for the occasional Judge Ido reference.
Have you listened to the Weezer (Red) Album?
Seriously, Rivers Cuomo spent the last few years straight eatin' turds. Dear Rivers, I remember when you were awesome at what you did, now you are 38 and apparently eat turds by the truckload. You continually tarnish the memory of the first time I heard Pinkerton.
"Now there is an easier way to enjoy a bidet's everyday freshness without the expenses and the hassle of installing a new washroom fixture. The concept of clean has evolved, shouldn't you try one and see the difference for yourself?"
That's from the website Takagi Fresh Seat.
I could really use a remote controlled warming toilet seat on cold mornings. I usually sit on the seat in my pants until the cold slowly comes through my pants, then I take the pants off. At least that way I don't go into hypothermic shock from a toilet seat made of republicans hearts. Zing! Oh, more like: Republican Farts.
For this one he teams up with the Witches of Eastside who do the chorus. Dj Dookie is working on the beats.
I play gameboy!
Please don’t call it a toy
I’m into Mario kart!
And when toad don’t do his part
I stick him with a turtle shell
Send him spinning to hell
Don’t battle me on wifi
Cause I’m the kinda guy
Who’ll burn you with
The drifting, the shifting
The sweet ass maneuvers
While you suck worse
Than a room full hoovers!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
Eff tetris!
Yo, that game is whack!
40 some levels and I don’t get jack
‘cept a headache, and that aint fit
I’m not trying to deal with blocks and sh—
Not when mario’s got his doctorate!
Dr. Mario! Now that’s a game
My anti-virus gonna put you to shame
I drop medicine, like it rains from the sky
I’m quicker than you, you cant deny
The only person you beat is your little sis
I got your side so viral you got tuberculosis!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
Castlevania!
Yo, that game is fun
Apparently Dracula lives in the sun
In the future 2538
Its hell on earth he’s trying to create
Call me Mr. Belmont!
I attack with a whip
Let me fight Dracula and I’ll make death stick
You barely beat the game in easy mode
You better not step to me, cause
I invented the konami code!
Of all the great things George Carlin did for freedom of speech and comedy in general, this is how he'll be remembered by most...
'Bill & Ted' actor Carlin dies, aged 71
Monday, June 23 2008, 13:26 BST
By Alex Fletcher, Entertainment Reporter
Rex Features
The comedian, who played Rufus in 1989's Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, died of heart failure yesterday.
full article - not worth reading.
Tower, this is Capt. Professor Wheelsworth. Request permission to land.
Capt. Professor Wheelsworth, this is tower. Permission denied, the tarmac is full of kittens. Adorable f***ing kittens.
Bill Gates is retiring. To celebrate, read this email he sent to his employees in 2003 explaining how much Windows sucks. Hilarious.
Bill Gates complaining about Movie Maker:
"The download is fast and the install takes 7 minutes for this thing.So now I think I am going to have Moviemaker. I go to my add/remove programs place to make sure it is there.
It is not there.
What is there? The following garbage is there. Microsoft Autoupdate Exclusive test package, Microsoft Autoupdate Reboot test package, Microsoft Autoupdate testpackage1. Microsoft AUtoupdate testpackage2, Microsoft Autoupdate Test package3.Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.What an absolute mess.
Moviemaker is just not there at all.
Julius von Bismarck is not just another guy sportin a kick ass look and a super awesome name. No, he is the inventor of the an image fulgurator. Otherwise known as a device that senses the flash of someone's camera, and then quickly illuminates itself, projecting images or text onto the object that was being snapped.
Still confused? He's hacking other people's real life photos. Awesome? Yes.
Check out his site and you'll get to see confused tourists reviewing the digital pictures they just took. A physical joke, on a digital medium. Brilliant.
I get the feeling tony and eva will be way into this one.
Rolling stones has done an interview with Obama and will post his ipod playlist in Friday's issue.
The article about the article is on the GuardianUk and talks about some of his musical choices: Bob Dylan, Bruce Springstein, Stevie Wonder, Rolling Stones, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Ludacris, Jay-Z, and Q-Tip.
Pretty impressive playlist, mostly safe choices. The best part about the article is where they talk about Obama 'guesting' on Q-tip's new album.
Rolling Stone will also do a list of songs Mccain likes to listen to on the phonograph: Gene Austin, George Gershwin, Johnny Hamp's Kentucky Serenaders, and Paul Whiteman And His Orchestra.
Two pieces of paper origami'd into Iron Man.
designed by Brian Chan
All you have to do is click on the word 'comment' at the bottom of the post, type in whatever you feel like saying and viola! I'll know that someone is reading it and I'll keep posting things. Also, if you have a fun blog that you want listed on my page let me know.
So in an effort to "harness the untapped power of breast movement" (trust me...it's been tapped), scientists are talking about creating a bra that stores the energy created by breasts (boobies).
My favorite part are all the great quotes from people of science. "Let's face it—if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.
'I asked Wang if this bra would be machine-washable.
"You don't need to wash a bra!" he said.'
So by now, my informed readers have heard that Dobson wants to fight Obama.
All Obama had said was basically, even if we got rid of the divide between christians/nonchristians there would still be the rift between christians and christians caused by whose christianity would you teach? "Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?" Implying that they are two crazy people on opposite ends of the same spectrum. A fair point that could spark meaningful and much needed dialouge amongst ranch eaters everywhere.
But here's the best part. Dobson accused Obama of "...deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology...He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter." Dobson said.
Here's what Dobson has also said...
"[P]ain is a marvelous purifier. . . It is not necessary to beat the child into submission; a little bit of pain goes a long way for a young child. However, the spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely. Some strong-willed children absolutely demand to be spanked, and their wishes should be granted. . . [T]wo or three stinging strokes on the legs or buttocks with a switch are usually sufficient to emphasize the point, 'You must obey me.'" - From The Strong-Willed Child, pp. 53-4
"Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth." - On gay marriage, from The Daily Oklahoman, Oct. 23rd, 2004
Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger. - focus on the family
"Here at Focus on the Family, we're not political."
Oh, and here's a transcript from a Larry King interview in which he talks about a lot of different things that he knows nothing about.
The New York Times has an interesting article on an obscenity trial in Florida (Southmost New Jersey). Basically the defense is trying to prove the defendant was not really viewing obscene material because it adhered to community standards. To prove this they pulled search records for the area from google/yahoo. Here's my favorite quote:
“We tried to come up with comparison search terms that would embody typical American values,” Mr. Walters said. “What is more American than apple pie?” But according to the search service, he said, “people are at least as interested in group sex and orgies as they are in apple pie.”
Personally, I don't think its a fair comparison. I mean, it's like comparing apples and orgies.
Laws in Japan happen instantly. This makes for quick adoption of a change that has been deemed necessary by most. The other upside is that people have to follow the news. For people like me sometimes you wake up and find out that Japan is going to fine people for being fat. Way to go, Japan. Way to go.
From slashdot-
The legislated upper limit for the waistline is 33.5" for men, and 35.5" for women. Should America adopt universal health insurance, could we live to see the same kind of individual health regulations imposed on us by the government? By comparison, the average waistline in America in 2005 was 39 inches for men, 37 inches for women.
University Turiba in Latvia decided to attempt to break the world record of simultaneous coke/mentos explosions. I know this sounds like a bad joke, but it was set originally with 1,499 Belgian students. Well, hats off to Latvia for getting 1,911 (never forget) explosions at once...
And then, for some reason, they broke out the flamethrowers.
I know all of my readers always ask, "how can I be more like Daft Punk?" Good question. The good folks at instructables have published a tutorial on how to make your clothes glow using EL wire.
click for how to
Girl Talk + Apple from Andrew Pile on Vimeo.
This is a mashup mashup. If you dont have the new Girltalk, get it here
I'm filing my nails at work. I figured I would blog about it to keep you informed.
They look really great.
As an avid supporter of the arts, it's my duty to highlight a budding artist. "¿" is a wizard that raps. Lately he's been performing shows opening for non mystical artists. ¿'s myspace hasn't been summoned, but he was kind enough to send some works in progress, which I will post at random here. Thanks to Krysta M. - his agent - for this H(H) exclusive:
In the kitchen, every day and night
Mixin and cookin, gotta get it right
Gingerman bread gonna make you my prey
Cause I’ll eat cookies every night and day
I’m a baked good predator
A cookie making wizard
I’ve got a sweet tooth,
And to tell you the truth
I wont eat your store bought sh**
If you give it to me, then you’re gonna get hit
Homemade is where its at
Yeah I like cookies but I ain’t fat
Spin your mixer like a rotor blade
This is how cookies like to get made
White chocolate or peanut butter
You’ll feel my wrath with a cookie cutter
Sittin in my kitchen in a sleeveless tee
Preheat the oven - 350 DEGREES!
I’ll mix this batter like I mix my rhyme
Slow – one part at a time
Start with sugar, butter, egg, and flour
Don’t forget the baking powder
Refrigerate for at least an hour
Dough so good its filled with power
Spin your mixer like a rotor blade
This is how cookies like to get made
White chocolate or peanut butter
You’ll feel my wrath with a cookie cutter
Third verse about cookie monster or Hansel and Gretel or something
So this one is almost specifically for Matt V and maybe Bobby, but I was doing more research on the astrophysical implications of creating Hadron Colliders and this article explains the macroscopic effects of TeV-scale black holes very well.
Of course if you misspell "Large Hadron Collider" you will end up with an article that displays this diagram:
Thanks to Miriam for this article on a pig that wears boots.
Click the pig for the article.
Eventually I will ride the Trans Siberian Express, so why not research train travel now?
The Man in Seat 61, is a great website with a ton of information on international train travel.
Then I found out how to 'Google Bomb' someone.
Sadly, George Carlin died. He was truly one of the great comedic minds of our time. True, not all of his jokes were pure gold, but nobody as a 100% joke rate. He made great strides in defending our freedom of speech and was one of the forefathers of shock comedy.
Apparently, I don't keep up with pop culture enough. I had no idea that when they talked about Amy Winehouse's 'drug problems' they were talking about crack.
This exchange was on Craigslist MC today:
red bull girl at Veggie Fest - m4w - 25 (B Park)
Reply to: pers-****
Date: 2008-06-22, 5:51PM EDT
you rock...thanks for the freebie, I owe y'all one.
Reply to: pers-****
Date: 2008-06-22, 6:04PM EDT
Why would you owe her one? It's her damn job to hand out free red bull to everyone, you're not special. She doesn't give a s*** what you think.
Reason #12
Random Hugs
Sometimes you're just talking to ethan and you get a random hug. Mid 'conversation'. I recommend that all people adopt this idea.
When the rapture happens how do you tell all your non believing friends "I told you so?"
http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/
That's right! Now there's a site that will send out emails to your friends and family 6 days after the physical bodies of believers are sucked up into heaven (a non physical realm).
Thank God.
Literally!
The director of the human resources department approached me today about my resignation. He said two things: 1. you're losing your mind. 2. maybe we'll get you a giraffe for your going away.
what?
so then he said, 'like a stuffed giraffe'....
?
"wait, what are those things with humps?"
camels?
yes, how about we get you a stuffed camel for your going away
well, i'm never one to look a gift camel in the mouth
that conversation actually happened today. in real life.
6/20-6/22 - Va beach6/28 - Dc/Richmond
7/4 - Hadads - lil best friends day
7/5 - Aqua battle on the James
7/9 - Last day of work
7/10 - Drive to Dc
7/11 - Motorcycle ride to wva
7/13 - Ride to Va Beach
7/18 - Richmond dinner
7/19 - Ride to Harrisonburg
7/20 - Ride around the mountains
7/21 - Dc - dinner with friends
7/22 - Egypt
You're invited to the dinners. I'll keep you updated.
I guess we'll see what happens.
Those are toy cat paws in the picture.
It is called "Why is my nephew so totally awesome (Tawesome)"
Reason #4 - Super adorable.
Real or not, this is funny. Click on the pic for a larger version
of one of the best personal ads ever.
Robin Williams and Bobcat Goldthwait are teaming up in an upcoming 'comedy' entitled "World's Greatest Dad"
I promise this is real and not a lost Mr. Show skit. From the press release, "Williams will play a failed writer teaching poetry at the high school. When his teenage son dies during a freak masturbation accident..."
So the military has taken to torturing prisoners with loud music blasted into their cell all day/night. The article in the guardian goes on to describe the torture tactic and the common playlists of torture.
So here's some of the most interesting parts:
"Inevitably, when poorly trained interrogators are encouraged to let their imaginations soar, they veer towards their own idiosyncratic perversions. One budding Emcee artfully mixed the sound of crying babies with a television commercial for Meow Mix cat food."
Some artists are not offended by their work being used to torture. "If the Iraqis aren't used to freedom, then I'm glad to be part of their exposure," James Hetfield, co-founder of Metallica, has said. As for his music being torture, he laughed: "We've been punishing our parents, our wives, our loved ones with this music for ever. Why should the Iraqis be any different?"
Dear James Hetfield, you are a total dick. I would like to lock you in a room and play all the pop songs I downloaded from napster in the early 90's.
Love,
Jimi
So apparently there is a new craze in the UK called 'dipping' which involves using google maps to find pools in your area, contacting friends via facebook, and arranging a meeting. People show up in 'fancy dress' and ride bikes for swift getaways. The owners usually only know their pool has been crashed when they find the empty beer cans.
brilliant.
If only we had those resources here in the states...
This blog will blow your mind. She has no time for "no account fools" so don't check it out if you are one. Also, her favorite movie is Leonard 6 and her favorite book is Dr. Phil Getting Real
Here's some choice quotes just from today...
On Food/Tipping -
"I had given her some money to pay for my Chinese food delivery while I was in a meeting. The driver gave her hell because I had only included enough money for the Sesame chicken and crab rangoons, and he wanted a tip. She even had the nerve to knock on the meeting room door to ask me for tip money."
On Puff Daddy -
"That man knows how to keep a woman happy! These hairy fools out there could learn a thing or two from this classy and talented gentleman!"
On Yogurt -
"And as you probably know, men like their women the way they like their yogurt: With the fruit on the bottom! That's why it's important for us to keep that ass fat! Head to McDonald's on that snack break! You and your man will be glad you did!"
Also, I've been commenting on the posts, sometimes as anonymous sometimes as myself.
Click for jump
....a performance "that is not only touching, but troubling and moving too"
Click the pic for the jump
