Hamburger(Hotdog)

Or: How I Learned to Live on a Nonprofit Salary

By James Foster

Note: Since I am currently a financial specialist I end up reading a lot of stupid articles about 'tips to save money.' So I decided to start writing my own. This is actually modeled after an article that I read.

During difficult economic times a great adage to live by is, “It’s not what you make, it’s what you spend.” As the cost of basic necessities skyrocket there is an increased need to save every penny. Through years of living frugally I have developed many tips for consumers to save money by spending much less of it. I call my ethically challenged program for saving the ‘Turbo X-Treme’ savings plan.

1. Groceries
This is one of the most important areas in the Turbo X-Treme savings plan. Everyone needs to eat, but with the cost of wheat, rice, flour, etc going through the roof in the last few months it has become increasingly difficult.
One great way to save money on food is to use the ‘self checkout’ counter at grocery stores. You will be surprised that no one notices if you ring up all produce as ‘Bananas’. This tip can also be used if you are buying large quantities of a product. For example, if you are buying 10 cans of tuna, get one can of generic cheap tuna and nine cans of quality solid white albacore. Thanks to the lower mercury levels, your wallet and kidney will thank you.
Another great tip is dumpsters. What do you think happens with all that bread the day after it is baked? Thanks to bagel places dumping all of their bagels at once, in a separate bag, at the end of the day, you can feed a family of 12 breakfast for a solid month! Now that’s what I call savings!
You could also take a part time job as a restaurant dishwasher. The work is hard, but rewarding. Since people tend to be more civilized at restaurants, the food is eaten with utensils. That means that food is rarely bit into directly, that means less of a chance of hepatitis! Not only that, but you usually get a shift meal at a restaurant, and if not, the cooks will generally take pity on you for cleaning up the vomit in the bathroom last night.
Buffets are also a great bargain if you bring Tupperware and a large bag.
2. Retail
Go without. Quit being a slave to consumerism. Do you really need a new car? Cellphone? Purse? Shoes? Probably not. Ever wonder how the guy that works at subway is able to survive on such little pay and still send money to his family overseas to support them? Its because he doesn’t waste his money on a new Ipod. He isn’t building up credit card debt buying things he doesn’t need either. He’s spending half of his paycheck on bills and the other half goes to his family. I know it’s possible, because he’s doing it. Your problem is that you sit in front of Deal or No Deal every night and become brainwashed by the commercials into thinking that you need a new product to make your life better.
If you can’t be happy with what you have, here’s a tip: UPC codes are used by most retailers, and with quality printers accessible to so many, it is very easy to print your own. All codes for the US and Canada can be found at: http://upcmachine.com/. Using that knowledge and some adhesive can go a long way in saving you money. Watch out for video cameras while doing this as it is usually frowned upon, regardless of economic downturns. Also, be realistic. If everything you buy is .99, including that Iphone, people will start to wonder.
3. Automobiles
Sell 'em. Buy a bike and/or moped. You will get into shape and learn how to work on two-stroke engines. You live a sedentary lifestyle, get out of your comfort zone and ride a bike. If you are too out of shape to ride a bike, walk. If you’re too out of shape to walk all the way to work, or live too far away, walk to the bus stop. Calculate how much you spend on a car each year. Could you find a job closer to your house? Even if you take a pay cut to work within walking distance to your house, your may still come out ahead if you don’t have the expense of a car.
What about emergency situations where I might need a car? This is where being kind and personable helps to save you money. If you are a good person that helps others, you will find people are usually there to help you. The more friends you have, the more likely you will have help when you need it. A strong sense of community can save you a lot of money in the long run. Catch a ride with people to the grocery store or call someone to drop you off at a hospital.