If for whatever reason i cant have an open casket ceremony because my death was caused by something that disfigured my face - put a mask on it!
I was thinking a black ski mask and a crowbar in my arms so it looks like i'm going to burgle death. A zombie mask would also be pretty funny, but maybe too easy. Oh! What about a Nixon or Reagan mask and a fake gun so it looks like i died during a daring bank heist a la Point Break. Face down is also an option. I doubt anyone would expect that
In addition, please hide a remote controlled fart machine in the casket. please. There should be a vote as to who in the room has the best comedic timing and they should have control over the remote. just make sure you try to see if you can hear it after i'm lowered into the ground. I'm sure my parents will find this wildly inappropriate, but I think that a funeral should be all about 'you' and I want a fart machine in my casket. Bonus points if you can get an ironically funny tshirt on me that says something all too appropriate like "who farted" or "Kill em all and let God sort em out." Hmmm, maybe that one is going too far?
While we're on the subject, I want someone to play an acoustic or piano version of Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home during the service. I think that would be beautiful.
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I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but in case anybody objects please show them this blog comment. At my funeral I want:
1. All the girls I've made out with crying over the loss
2. Roman candles for all the attendees
3. Bicycle procession
4. A keg
5. No black clothes
Every day above ground is a good day to party.
All hands F.I.B. the dead.
i recently went to my first viewing...and i decided the lady didn't look at all like herself and came up with a mask idea as well! one of those cardboard masks on a popsicle stick and you could pass them out as party favors