The other night my friend/roommate Maher came into my room and said, 'Parliament is burning, come look, you can see it from the roof.' So we went up to the roof and he told me that it had already been burning for almost 2 hours. From the roof I could see the flames and I live about a mile away. Maher then told me that the fire department had failed completely and the military was called in to try to extinguish it. That's when we saw the helicopters with those buckets underneath flying by to try to put out the fire. Then they couldn't get the buckets to dump. It was like a really really dark Ben Stiller movie, if you could imagine something going terribly wrong it went wrong. Anyway, I grabbed the camera and rushed down to the building. Unfortunately trying to take night pictures in a near riot situation is not easy. I even climbed on top of a wall to get a better view and it didn't help too much. Then I was without internet until yesterday afternoon so I didn't know what the news was saying about it, but it turns out that 13 people were injured and the cause was most likely electrical.
The feeling at the scene was pretty amazing though. Back in the side streets youth were cheering and yelling and I'm pretty sure that a bowab said, 'the presidents moustache caught fire.' I hope that if nothing else, it just gets people talking. Maybe people will start to question whether or not this part of government is even necessary, and the compentency of the government in general.
Read this.
It's an article written by a friend of mine on the recent abduction of local activists here in Egypt. This entire political scene is so messed up.
Basically, here's the long/short of the politics right now -
The current leader Mubarak was the vice president under the last leader, Sadat. When Sadat was assassinated in '81 Mubarak took control. Do the math, that means that he has been 'president' for 27 years. Right after he took power he declared Egypt in a state of emergency and Egypt has been under 'emergency law' for over 25 years. That means that no one has the right to a fair trial and the government can do whatever it wants. He's one of those leaders that America keeps in power for because he follows instructions and protects our interests, but his human rights violations increase daily. Almost everyone is just holding their breath waiting for his reign to end. He's old and he's sick so it's just a matter of time, but the problem is that there is no real light at the end of the tunnel. Activists get arrested/tortured and there's no opposition party at all. The only 'alternative' is the muslim brotherhood, but they're technically not even allowed to participate politically and are also arrested on a regular basis. The assumed successors are either a military general or Mubarak's son Gamal (the one not publicly involved in corruption).
The system here does not work, but a culture of very real fear has led to a general sense of apathy and helplessness. My hope was that the burning of the parliament buildings would be the spark to light a real fire, but I know now that that's not the case. People don't want to be tortured. So everyone sits and waits for Allah to do something about it.
It's a shame really. This is a great country with a lot of potential and a rich history, but all it is right now is a myriad of failed policies and an overabundance of poverty.
So I wake up from a dream with a marketing epiphany -
Cheese Whoppers
Here's the thing though, not just like oh, we're going to give you cheese whoopers, no. We're going to give you every major kind of cheese in whopper form. Gruyère, Pont l'Evêque, Norwegian Jarlsberg, and Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.
Sometimes drugs make you do stupid things. I'm pretty sure this is one of them.
So this site, I-doser claims that through sound you can experience a similar high to many popular drugs. The best part is that they don't stop at the usually suspects, like Peyote, they offer you Prozium and White Crosses.
Here's where I need your participation. I would like everyone that reads this and has internet access to download the files. There are two options, you can download their 'two free doses' along with their player, etc from their website, or you can download them without the player for free by searching 'i-doser' on thepiratebay.
Your choice, but you get more of a selection on the pirate bay and free is free right? So download them and give it an honest chance, even if you don't have noise canceling headphones. Then write me your experiences. Please do this. I am downloading them now but with this internet connection it could take a week (seriously). I read the experiences on their website and they were hilarious so I want to read yours.
May our souls hold hands in the realm of wizards and our hearts give each other butterfly kisses through the use of binaural brainwave doses.
Sorry, the internet went down again.
So we don't get more than about 10 feet from the bar when an egyptian with a british accent approaches chris and starts telling him how much he and his friends wanted to talk and hang out, etc. Chris looks at me and I just reply, "I'm straight, so you guys go and have a good time and take care of my friend."
Unfortunately, I realized 3 blocks later that Chris had the key to the hotel room. So I went back inside and tried to just get the key from Chris, but I was talked into staying and having a beer with everyone. This was not difficult to do because everyone seemed like they were having such a good time. A gay time would be the most appropriate term here.
Important fact, the guy's name was Ahmed, but he went by 'Fergee.'
So fast foward to me being kicked out of my own room by some guy named Fergee. I grabbed a book and headed for the reception area on that floor and just hung out for a while. I noticed that the 14yr old doorboy who had let us into the hotel (since the doors lock at midnight) was walking passed me toward the room quite a bit. I realized he was listening in on the action and when he walked passed me and went downstairs towards the main office, I rushed to the door, banged on it, and whisper-yelled through the crack "We have serious problems, quit what you're doing and open the door."
Sure enough, the door boy is back again within minutes and escorts Fergee out of the building, but not before Fergee got my number so he could call Chris later. I figured this was all finished until the doorboy came back and asked to speak to me for a minute, or at least motioned the sentiment. He then realized that neither one of us spoke the other's language and began miming something that looked like 'plowing.' I figure that's not what he meant and when I looked confused he grabs the floor squeegy from the bathroom and continues doing exactly what he was doing before. Chris then grabs the translation book and the doorboy looks through it, points to Chris and says 'a gay'. Then he looks through the book some more and then points to the word 'sexy'.
At this point I am laughing, even though I know I shouldn't be, but come on squeegy - a gay - sexy is hilarious!
Fergee calls at just the right time and I get him to translate for me and he somehow talks us out of the situation completely. I also get the feeling the boy never told anyone in the hotel about any of this. I also realized he was looking through the keyhole, not just listening in. I also realize that maybe, the doorboy will have some very tough years ahead of him.
So last night I stayed up late watching the smoke from the burning parliament building on the roof of my apartment. It was truly magnificent, but more on that later.
So at around 130am I realized I hadn't eaten any dinner so I decided to go to a nearby egyptian style pizza place. Unfortunately, it seemed like they were feeding the military special troops that were on hand for the fire, so it took 45 minutes to get some hot egyptian 'za. As I walked away I realized that I was carrying 2 medium pizzas (one vegetarian, one dessert, both for me) and I spent less that 4 US Dollars. I was no longer upset about the wait. When I got home I remembered why it was so cheap, it doesn't taste very good. Usually it's not bad, but it was so terrible I threw most of it out and just focused on the chocolate pizza, which was delicious.
I then woke up at 830am and I am now sick for a third time in less than a month.
Worst 4 dollars ever spent? Maybe.
Will I make the same mistake again? Probably.
I've spent the better part of 3 hours cleaning my new room. This is after I got home at around 3 am and was woken up by the guy I was house sitting for at 5am. This was made awkward by my being in my underwear and never having met him before.
Anyway, I think my room has a/c, I'm not sure. It's been going the entire time and I'm still sweating like crazy. Also, nothing I do to this room will ever make it look good. I tried to replace the light bulb and pulled out the entire fixture from the ceiling. Entire chunks of wall are just missing and I think out of 7 outlets in the room, 2 work. I know you think Target is probably not the coolest place in the world, but I promise that not having the convenience of getting everything I would need to make this place awesome in one place is actually really awesome. Instead, I will spend an hour in the hot sun with a light bulb or two saying 'like this' in arabic to every shop I pass until someone has a light bulb 'like this'. That's the easy part, there's thing I would like to have that I can't just walk around with, like a pillow or pillow case. Good luck trying to find the pillow case district.
I guess the moral is, want less.
That of course is easy to say, but when you just want to take a nap but you're afraid the bed has scabies you have a bit of cognitive dissonance.
Please note, this story was printed with Chris' permission. Normally I wouldn't post things like this, I would just tell them at inappropriate times, like dinner with your parents.
One caveat in this entire chapter in life is the almost complete lack of women (lil' hotties). This is less than awesome for me, but perhaps much needed and a way in which to grow myself as a human being. This creates an interesting situation (prison-like in nature) that allows Chris far more romantic opportunities than he might normally have in the bible belt of the ol' US of A. This also allows me to be a facilitator, show Chris a good time, and be a good 'wingman'. Also, let's face it, it could make for an interesting story.
So we went to a bar that davebecca and I enjoyed called the Spitfire, which is a WWII themed dive bar. It was completely dead and pretty boring so we went to a bar that was labeled as more 'open minded'. I can say that, for a straight guy, I've been to more gay bars than most, but this was weirder than most. I'm not sure how to explain it because nothing was overtly crazy nor were there guys dancing on tables or anything, it just felt dark I guess. That's not a skintone joke either, just think about being gay in a society in which 'no one is gay' and if you are caught you could 'disappear.' This bar could also get raided at anytime and then we'd be in some serious trouble, so it had the speakeasy appeal to it.
Anyway, I just grab a couple beers and chris and I sit in the back corner. Within moments our barren corner was teaming with dudes hanging around. Chris chalks this up to us being 'fresh meat', I chalk it up to being totally hot and unattainable, something all guys want. Eventually, I get really people claustrophobic and want to get out of there so I settle up and Chris and I leave.
Continued in Part 2
I've got my gallabaya all pressed and ready for my first day out alone.
It's almost 2am and I just walked Chris to the door. Walking back up the steps I realize that I am completely alone. In Egypt. Franzo, Dave, Chris, and Rebecca, all gone. I'm sitting in a hot Cairo apartment in my boxers, typing out my thoughts. Tomorrow I will wake up and have no one to talk to. Tomorrow I will wake up with no where to go and nothing to do.
Tomorrow I will wake up whenever I want and do whatever I want.
I should also see about getting my visa extended at some point.
I'm just as curious as you to see how all this turns out.
Sorry for the lack of posts, I plan to make up for them once all guests have left and I start to get settled into my new place.
I got a great deal on it and I live with 4 random people, most of whom don't speak english very well. I'm not sure what nationalities everyone is yet, but everyone seems like they're pretty cool. I have the smallest room with a chance to upgrade in a couple months once some of the people move out. Right now my rent is about $200 a month, and that includes everything. It's an 8th floor penthouse in a nice part of town, but the inside looks like a paper st. house. I'm putting up the first pictures of the place, along with the amazing view from the rooftop, on my flickr.
Soon I will post all the crazy stories from Chris' visit as well, just be patient.
Last night Francesca and I went to a going away party for Handsome George while Dave waited for Rebecca. We figured it would be a small little party but it turned out to be pretty big and pretty fun. There were a lot of people and plenty interesting conversation. We got invited back to the north coast and even asked to stay around after they kicked out everyone at 330am. It felt nice to be in the 'cool club'. It felt even nicer to eat all of their mangoes.
At around 5am we call it a night and head back to Garden City. Of course she was hungry and decided to order some food from a place we passed by on the street. If 2am is the 4th meal I guess this would be the 1st call to prayer meal? Anyway, since the fryers weren't up we had to settle, and by settle I mean that we ate potato chips in a pita. I would have complained it was too unhealthy and gross, but I was too busy washing it down with an orange soda.
So a 'bowab' is basically your door guy, maintenance man, and all around go to guy. Most of the time they are pretty cool and it's important to maintain a good relationship with them if you want to have any guests over. The place we are house sitting has a creepy bowab with poor manners and a terrible disposition.
The landlady recently decided that she wanted to replace the old, busted refrigerator with 2 old busted refrigerators. The problem is that someone has to be here when the refrigerator guy gets here and the bowab can't be trusted. So after a day of Francesca waiting around and no refrigerator guy, we arrive at the apartment at 3am to find 2 fridges outside our front door.
The next morning at 830am the bowab is banging on the door. I ignore it and it happens for the next few hours until dave finally answers it at 1130am. This is where it gets funny. They spend an hour trying to figure out how to get it into the kitchen. Dave and I both know all you have to do is take the doors off the fridge and voila! Instead we are treated to a live action marx brothers comedy. The bowab and some random guy with tools decide to take the entire door frame off and then see if it fits, all without measuring anything. This then becomes a construction project with plaster dust everywhere. At one point we have 3 refrigerators in the house and decide to do a photoshoot with Franzo while she is trying to explain to the guys why they are responsible for cleaning up the mess. The entire thing lasted 4+ hours and all they had to do was take the door off the fridge.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimifoster/sets/72157606467564821/
Sat July 26th
Yesterday morning we met up with Francesca who had socially engineered us an invite to her friends' beach house up on the northern coast. We took a cab over to her friend, George's place and ordered some breakfast. George is the son of wealthy steel farmers or something, I can't remember. Anyway, he's egyptian, as is his brother Paul, but they were schooled in England so they have strong english accents. At first Dave and I were really uncomfortable in his apartment because it seemed way too nice. I assume its about as nice as you can get in Cairo, with a view that over looks the entire city from the 14th floor penthouse wrap around windows. It also always seems like people with english accents are talking down to you because they sound so foppish by nature. Fortunately, it turns out that George is a good guy and he likes jokes/fun. It took a long time to get his brother out of bed and that time involved his parents (who live across the hall) coming over and yelling at him in arabic. This was all a lot to handle early in the morning.
Regardless, we loaded up and drove to the northern coast, which is about 30 km west of Alexandria on the Mediterranian sea. Shockingly beautiful is a strong understatement. The water is so blue that it makes the sky look like faded, washed out towel. (That was Francesa's simile btw).
On the last night there I was able to lay by myself on the beach and watch the clouds in the night sky. I was listening to some new Sigur Ros, which seemed to go perfectly with the speed of the clouds and the shooting stars. Sometimes you're given the encouragement that you're on the right path right when you need it. Sometimes life is so beautiful that you know you don't deserve it, but you'll take what you can get, and what I got was awesome.
Driver exceeds 140 kmph
Guy sitting in a chair with nothing around for a mile
Sheep having sex
Bedouin selling hash
Near death experience
Car made within the last decade
Minivan with 14+ people
Car driving the wrong way on the highway w/ lights on
Car driving the wrong way on the highway w/ lights off
Man on motorcycle in the back of pickup truck
Vehicle towing another vehicle with 4+ people in each vehicle
Arabic 'Calvin Stickers'
Please quit being so fickle and slow.
I have so many great pictures, but I cannot upload them. I set it up to upload 39 pictures overnight and it got 4 done. Oh well, this will be text only until I can figure something out. I'll still try to catch up on the posts now that I've resigned to just text. I have to go to some dinner party or whatever but I will say that all is good here. Stressful, hectic, loud, etc, but good. I've eaten a lot of good food and met a lot of good people, who could ask for more?
Also - its mango season. If you think you've had a good mango before you're a fool. These might be classified as super mangoes and I eat 3-4 in a sitting. Here's the other crazy thing - i'm not a huge fan of mangoes normally. To compliment the mangoes, the jasmine trees are in bloom and smell great.
Dave and I fell into a house sitting gig so we have a free place to stay, we just have to feed 2 crazy cats every day.
Everything works out and we're having a great time. When I have more time to post I'll fill you in on the details.
Love Jimi
So I wake up with a rather strong desire to go 'pee pee'. On two hours of sleep I'm still very confused as to where I am and who these people are in the room. It was a 8 person slumber party, but Dave was in a weird scene on the futon pad dragged onto the floor. There was this guy trying to hook up with one of the girls and I guess she wasn't having any of that. Either way, dave slept with them on the futon pad widthways style which meant that his feet got a terrible nights sleep. I woke up in my underwear and looking for a bathroom. Dave woke up at my stirring about and then started to go back to sleep. I thought it would be funny to stuff a t shirt and a pair of socks in front of the blue american apparel briefs i'm wearing and hope that he wakes back up as I look for the bathroom. Apparently, the bathroom is in someone else's room and I don't know this, so I look everywhere. Everywhere somehow included me almost pulling a giant piece of plywood down onto me (I guess I thought they hid the bathroom behind some paneling). Anyway, just take a second to pretend you are any of the other people in the room that I don't know and imagine if you woke up to that.
So I try to gather some troops to attempt breakfast at 9am at the little grille. Total success and we get to dine with Ward/Kate and company. We make plans to go to a swimming hole and get it right/tight later. Then we head over to 'Cally's' and I get a bloody mary. Dave and I hang out for a bit and head back to Mike K's to find him starting to wake up. We bro down for a bit, text up a swimmin hole rolling crew and try to take a nap. No dice on the nap, but we did get to see some awesome old pictures Mike had of old duke dogs looking young. There was one of me painting a topless Nate with condiments, in the main dining (d) hall.
The swimming hole had a rope swing that was just dangerous enough to be super fun. After a while we got some thai food super early dinner style and went back to take naps. Instead of napping we ended up watching Wet Hot American Summer with the 'Extra Farts' Commentary.
Oh yeah, here's some weird things - the last place we went was The Nile, which Harper pointed out, is where Dave and I are going. Then almost immediately after that, the bartender plays Real Talk! I got way too excited and we were asked to leave.
The rest of the night was so calm and so fun, Dave and I are still reeling from it. If a day is defined not by the passing of 24 hours, but by the period in between 6+ hours of sleep, then Dave and I might have had one of our best days of our lives.
Sincere thanks especially to Celia, Suzi, and Megan for entertaining Dave and me. I know we couldn't have been easy to handle in our sleep deprived state, you made the best of it and we are very grateful.
1. you can't. you just can't. That's ok though because if you look out your window to your left you can see the sun starting to rise over Dublin.
2. If you really must try, start by taking off your shoes. It feels good, but don't do it if you got that sour foot and don't take your comfort too far. You dropped good money on this ticket and I'll be damned if you're going to ruin it by wearing those mustard stained heather grey sweatpants. put on some linen dress slacks and look sharp. Don't forget to install that braid in the back of your hair with a shark's tooth at the end, that will ward off any unwanted conversationalists. Unless you're sitting next to captain ron or jimmy buffett then you should forego the sharks tooth.
3. Build a fort. if you ask each steward for a blanket you will soon have amassed a rather large collection to construct a fort with. This will give you enough privacy for you to take your shirt off.
Dear Parents of the screaming child,
Please quit putting out your cigarettes on that kid's face, that sound is terrible.
Also, please tell the parents in aisle 46 that their kids dvd player does not have headphones plugged in and no one else needs to hear Elmo on full blast.
Thank you,
Jimi
