From the article (funniest parts in bold, my comments in italics)-
Motorsport president Max Mosley denied in court today that he had been involved in a Nazi orgy, saying he could not think of anything less erotic.
"I can think of few things more unerotic than Nazi roleplay", said Mosley, president of the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA), the governing body for formula one.
Mosley is suing the News of the World for breach of privacy over allegations that he was involved in what the paper called a "sick Nazi orgy" with five prostitutes.
Mosley, 68-year-old son of 1930s fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley, rejected any suggestion that the sadomasochistic roleplay had Nazi overtones, saying this had no appeal for him.
"All my life I had it hanging over me with the undercurrent from my parents and the last thing I would want to do is for that to enter my sexual life," Mosley told Mr Justice Eady in the high court in London.
Mosley, the FIA president since 1993, said the News of the World front-page story and website video had a "devastating" effect on his family.
Think about finding out that your dad had a nazi orgy and that there was a video of it online that your friends have probably seen.
"My wife and I have been married for more than 48 years and together more than 50 years since we were teenagers and she never knew this aspect of my life," Mosley said. I think that the Austrian guy that imprisoned/raped his daughter said the same thing.
"That headline in the News of the World was completely and utterly devastating for her and there was nothing I could say. I think I've talked my way out of worse.
"For my two sons, I don't think there is anything worse for a son to see in a newspaper article, especially in a newspaper like News of the World, the pictures they printed. I can think of nothing more undignified." True.
Mosley looked slightly uncomfortable as he was asked to explain sadomasochism (S&M) to the judge. He said that roleplay was an integral part of this because it provided a justification for the central activity of punishment.
"I fundamentally disagree with the suggestion that any of this is depraved or immoral. It's a perfectly harmless activity provided it's between consenting adults in private and nobody knows about it," he said.
Mosley said that people that practise this get used to the pain and for him it was preferable to jumping into a cold swimming pool.
He said it was "laughable" to say it was criminal given that society condones piercing and tattoos and violent sports.
"I think things of the nature being discussed here are completely outside the scope of my work."
Mosley said he would much prefer not to be in court discussing his sex life but he realised that was the price he had to pay for bringing an action.
Earlier, Mosley's lawyer James Price QC said the story was a "gross and indefensible intrusion" on the 68-year-old's private life.
Mr Price said the newspaper had made a "shocking and entirely false" suggestion that Mosley had played a concentration-camp commandant and a cowering death-camp inmate.
Sent from my boss to my coworkers just now-
As most of you already know, Jimi Foster’s last day here at ClearPoint is this Wednesday, July 9, 2008 . Jimi joined ClearPoint in December 2006 as a CSR and quickly moved to Telephone FS, then Internet FS. Jimi will be traveling around the world doing missionary work. Please join me in wishing him well.
Jimi, thank you for everything that you’ve done to educate and help our clients. You will be missed. Please keep in touch. :)
The weekend started with going to see an Ultra Dolphins show at Nara Sushi with drew and chris. Nothing too eventful happened and the vocals weren't mic'd for them or Gull, but it was still a great show.
On the 4th we went to Hadad's Lake and I basically just drank and tried to do sweet tricks with Ward off of the rope swing. We were able to high five pretty awesomely, but when we tried to do an mid air hug it didn't end so well. It was pretty funny to be at the apex of the swing and hear Ward scream 'hug me!"
Eventually a hurricane rolled through and everyone hid under a Hadad's Hut. The pics are pretty great. We almost got kicked out when Eva scream really loud for no good reason and when Dave Drew and I started the chant "Oh - Shit - Oh - Shit - Oh - Shit."
We tried to party that night but the only thing we could find was a weird hot tub party in Oregon Hill. I think the beer in the hot tub caused it to foam up pretty bad. It was either that or the myriad of communicable diseases cooking together. Once someone caught the newly created super scurvy we left and got pizza from Krustys.
We had to call the owners cell phone because he had left work to go drink at a bar. He assured us that he could be back at the place and cook a pizza in 30 mins. An hour later we ate a burned, ameoba shaped pizza. The best part is that he said, 'I really appreciate you being so understanding about this taking so long , I'm going to give you a discount...normally the pizza is 11 but it'll only be 9 for you..." Keep in mind that there's a sign by the front door that says 'Large cheese pizza $10.'
Oh Richmond.
When you think of the 4th of July what do you think of? I think of Will Smith and the fact that he's dominated the box office 6 out of the last 10 independence days. I think of his incredible rise to stardom and most of all I think of his hit song 'Miami'.
I think about Jeff Goldblum and his role in saving earth one independence day in the fictional past. His knowledge of proprietary alien computer operating systems is astounding. Then I think of his role in the Big Chill and how some people are calling the new Friends movie the Big Chill of a new generation. Seriously, I know I've already posted about it, but that turd is going to be effing visual ipecac.
"Ladies half dressed fully equipped
And they be screamin out will we loved your last hit
So Im thinkin ima scoot me somethin hot
In this south sea merengue melting pot
Hottest club in the city and its right on the beach
Temperature get to ya its about to reach
Five hundred degrees
In the carribean seas with the hot mommies"
If for whatever reason i cant have an open casket ceremony because my death was caused by something that disfigured my face - put a mask on it!
I was thinking a black ski mask and a crowbar in my arms so it looks like i'm going to burgle death. A zombie mask would also be pretty funny, but maybe too easy. Oh! What about a Nixon or Reagan mask and a fake gun so it looks like i died during a daring bank heist a la Point Break. Face down is also an option. I doubt anyone would expect that
In addition, please hide a remote controlled fart machine in the casket. please. There should be a vote as to who in the room has the best comedic timing and they should have control over the remote. just make sure you try to see if you can hear it after i'm lowered into the ground. I'm sure my parents will find this wildly inappropriate, but I think that a funeral should be all about 'you' and I want a fart machine in my casket. Bonus points if you can get an ironically funny tshirt on me that says something all too appropriate like "who farted" or "Kill em all and let God sort em out." Hmmm, maybe that one is going too far?
While we're on the subject, I want someone to play an acoustic or piano version of Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home during the service. I think that would be beautiful.
This is from an Artist named Blu who does street murals, primarily in Buenos Aires, Argentina. It is seriously one of the best videos I've seen in a while. I promise you will be impressed.
MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.
This might be too easy because it's on the outside of my favorite pho restaurant, but when I saw it I thought of cantypesandwich and thought I should post it.
Apparently, due to the success of the Sex in the City 'movie', they are releasing a friends movie -wait for it - within 18 months.
I am so excited that there will be a friends movie, but please do not fast track it! I don't want to lose quality as a result of America's need for instant gratification. 18 months?!? That, I say, is not nearly enough time to write a screenplay that is going to really capture the complexities of each character, much less Chandlers delightful wit. Or what about how they've all changed now that they are all 40-50 years old.
I say this idea needs to steep and the writers should really flesh out every little detail and then try to make the best movie ever. The downside is that that might take a good 10-15 years. Oh! The upside would be that the worst writers in hollywood would be occupied for 10-15 years, and the actors would not take any more jobs 'just in case.'
Also, after receiving criticism that the show featured no black people whatsoever, they are creating a new character who will be played by whoopi goldberg.
Hurray for Hollywood!
The Fly is being performed as an opera? Hell yeah it is!
From the article in the washington post:
The new incarnation, with tenor Placido Domingo conducting a score by Oscar-winning composer Howard Shore ("The Lord of the Rings"), isn't as gory as the movie. Audiences will be spared close-ups of the title character's fingernails falling off as he makes the transition from mild-mannered scientist to giant insect.
Still, for an opera, it's pretty scary _ even if there are touches of dark humor. Giggles broke out among those invited to Monday's dress rehearsal when a mezzo-soprano belted out the film's catchphrase: "Be afraid. Be very afraid."
Cronenberg, who is directing the opera, wasn't sure what effect it would have.
"Someone's 6-year-old said, after seeing one of our rehearsals, that she thought she would have to sleep with her parents for a while," he told reporters. "So I guess it's working."
Too bad it's in Paris only right now.
For those of you not in the know, you can get cool looking designs on metal by 'laser etching' it, as seen in the photo. Well apparently some people were dumb enough to figure out that if you replaced 'metal' with 'skin' you can brand yourself with whatever 'cool looking design' you and your drunk ass friends come up with.
Or: How I Learned to Live on a Nonprofit Salary
By James Foster
Note: Since I am currently a financial specialist I end up reading a lot of stupid articles about 'tips to save money.' So I decided to start writing my own. This is actually modeled after an article that I read.
During difficult economic times a great adage to live by is, “It’s not what you make, it’s what you spend.” As the cost of basic necessities skyrocket there is an increased need to save every penny. Through years of living frugally I have developed many tips for consumers to save money by spending much less of it. I call my ethically challenged program for saving the ‘Turbo X-Treme’ savings plan.
1. Groceries
This is one of the most important areas in the Turbo X-Treme savings plan. Everyone needs to eat, but with the cost of wheat, rice, flour, etc going through the roof in the last few months it has become increasingly difficult.
One great way to save money on food is to use the ‘self checkout’ counter at grocery stores. You will be surprised that no one notices if you ring up all produce as ‘Bananas’. This tip can also be used if you are buying large quantities of a product. For example, if you are buying 10 cans of tuna, get one can of generic cheap tuna and nine cans of quality solid white albacore. Thanks to the lower mercury levels, your wallet and kidney will thank you.
Another great tip is dumpsters. What do you think happens with all that bread the day after it is baked? Thanks to bagel places dumping all of their bagels at once, in a separate bag, at the end of the day, you can feed a family of 12 breakfast for a solid month! Now that’s what I call savings!
You could also take a part time job as a restaurant dishwasher. The work is hard, but rewarding. Since people tend to be more civilized at restaurants, the food is eaten with utensils. That means that food is rarely bit into directly, that means less of a chance of hepatitis! Not only that, but you usually get a shift meal at a restaurant, and if not, the cooks will generally take pity on you for cleaning up the vomit in the bathroom last night.
Buffets are also a great bargain if you bring Tupperware and a large bag.
2. Retail
Go without. Quit being a slave to consumerism. Do you really need a new car? Cellphone? Purse? Shoes? Probably not. Ever wonder how the guy that works at subway is able to survive on such little pay and still send money to his family overseas to support them? Its because he doesn’t waste his money on a new Ipod. He isn’t building up credit card debt buying things he doesn’t need either. He’s spending half of his paycheck on bills and the other half goes to his family. I know it’s possible, because he’s doing it. Your problem is that you sit in front of Deal or No Deal every night and become brainwashed by the commercials into thinking that you need a new product to make your life better.
If you can’t be happy with what you have, here’s a tip: UPC codes are used by most retailers, and with quality printers accessible to so many, it is very easy to print your own. All codes for the US and Canada can be found at: http://upcmachine.com/. Using that knowledge and some adhesive can go a long way in saving you money. Watch out for video cameras while doing this as it is usually frowned upon, regardless of economic downturns. Also, be realistic. If everything you buy is .99, including that Iphone, people will start to wonder.
3. Automobiles
Sell 'em. Buy a bike and/or moped. You will get into shape and learn how to work on two-stroke engines. You live a sedentary lifestyle, get out of your comfort zone and ride a bike. If you are too out of shape to ride a bike, walk. If you’re too out of shape to walk all the way to work, or live too far away, walk to the bus stop. Calculate how much you spend on a car each year. Could you find a job closer to your house? Even if you take a pay cut to work within walking distance to your house, your may still come out ahead if you don’t have the expense of a car.
What about emergency situations where I might need a car? This is where being kind and personable helps to save you money. If you are a good person that helps others, you will find people are usually there to help you. The more friends you have, the more likely you will have help when you need it. A strong sense of community can save you a lot of money in the long run. Catch a ride with people to the grocery store or call someone to drop you off at a hospital.
Last night I had an enjoyable impromptu fake date with my friend Krysta. I had asked her if she wanted to go to my friend Paul's wife's book release party. I had asked my boss if she wanted to accompany me and she shot me down. It made sense to ask Krysta since she not only provides enjoyable company and knows Paul, but lives near the bookstore. Proximity has always played some sort of role in all my relationships...I guess that's true of everyone though...I am always a fan of less proximity and more haptics. Whaddup!
Anyway, so after the book social we went to a new Dominican restaurant on a whim. The entire situation was humorous for multiple reasons: 1. she is dressed up and I am wearing a white v-neck undershirt and gray jeans 2. the restaurant is full on both sides and we get seated right in the middle of the restaurant 3. the food runner was wearing scrubs.
There were no vegetarian options except for sweet fried plantains and cheese in the appetizers, so we ordered them and fried codfritters because neither of us knew what it was. we decided to split the appetizer and entree to save room for some tres leche cake. The service was terribly slow, but I assume it was a result of a large group sitting near us and only one waitress for the entire place. What the appetizer lacked in flavor it made up for in grease. When the entree came out it looked like it might be good so Krysta took a huge bite and immediately had the worst look on her face. I ate some and I thought it wasn't great but not that bad...but then it got saltier as I ate it. Usually things are salty or not salty, but this went from really salty to super gross salty pretty quickly in my mouth. Krysta almost couldn't swallow it and then from that point on she just ate plain rice. I did my best to eat the entire portion of one of the worst things I've ever eaten because I felt that it was my fault for ordering it, and maybe it was supposed to taste this way. Now that I think of it, it wasn't fried at all. Also, keep in mind, the waitress never brought out separate plates for us so we were eating off of one plate in the middle of the table the entire time. Basically we looked like one of those couples that feels the need to repulse everyone by sitting on the same side of the table or booth. The funny thing is that I had a similar experience with Chris last week by accident at a nice Italian restaurant. Anyway, I still dont know why that guy was wearing scrubs unless they're the cheapest clothes possible -the other alternatives are pretty gross. Also, they were out of tres leche cake. So my opinion - unless you like mofongo with pork chunks don't eat at Papa Ningo downtown.
When I dropped Krysta off it was still daylight and I got a kiss on the cheek. Then I went home and listened to my favorite radio serials, blew out the candle and fell asleep dreaming of better meals.
I was reading an article about Pipilotti Rist this morning. She's a swedish video artist that does super 8 films. She has a son named Himilaya and teaches at UCLA. Her wiki has links to some of her films, which are beautiful, simple, and pretty amazing. They are very happy and give you the sensation of playing katamari demacy.
Anyway, her site is particularly fun, especially with headphones as fun images are all over the screen and she whispers 'you are king' in your ears. It's free and it's art, check her out.
Barb has had some choice postings lately. Also, her flickr link is up so you can see her. For those not in the know - this is a woman I don't know, I've never met, but for no good reason I read her blog and follow her 'life'. The link to her site is on the right.
From today-
Wuv...twu wuv
I've done the online dating thing off and on through the years, with limited success. (And that limited success is far more success than I've had in meeting guys through more organic means, so...) Maybe once a year, I'll decide to give it a go, and I might get a few dates out of it, and then unsubscribe and continue my hermit-like, tragic spinster ways.Anyway, I'm going through another round, fairly unsuccessfully. I did get a match that interested me, and went through a couple rounds of questions and such. It's been a few days since I last heard from him, so I went to the website and saw that he had closed the match ("Pursuing another relationship"). And I was actually a bit bummed, which is rare.
His loss, I guess, though a lot of what he had in his profile resonated with me. Plus, his name is Ken, so obvy we were Meant To Be! (Or "Meat To Be," which is what I typed first. Hee.) I guess I'll just have to assume that tonight I'm going to meet my True Love at the O's game. He'll be bowled over by my fandom and mad scorekeeping skillz.
Liveblogging 1.0 -
Right now, two male co-workers are standing around my cube with so little to do that they are just watching me blog. What's more pathetic thank liveblogging a conversation? Watching a guy liveblog a conversation.
Is there a blog from a 7-11 clerks point of view? I bet it would be a pretty great blog if is was run my someone clever/funny/dashingly handsome. Anyway, I was just in 7-11 and I got stuck behind two lottery players. This is a subculture I want to know more about. By it's nature it attracts those low on the socioeconomic scale and worsens those already battling addictions. I'm not talking about your mom getting a scratch off at the grocery store because she was 'feeling lucky'. I'm talking about the hard core users. The people, like the two women in front of me, spend hours at a 7-11 playing every type of lottery there is. I believe they refer to it as 'diversifying funds.' Is there a documentary about this somewhere? These women, who were in their 50's and 70's respectively (not each one at the same time a la john claude van damme timecop style), were dropping so much slang it was comical.
"Magic pick three tonight? No? Magic 5? Ok then, let me get 2 simple pinks and what's the latest out? ok, 5 of the crazy 7s"
Then I bought a Slurpee with change I found in my car because I didn't have my wallet.
Magic Mushrooms Have Long Lasting Benefits
NEW YORK - In 2002, at a Johns Hopkins University laboratory, a business consultant named Dede Osborn took a psychedelic drug as part of a research project. She felt like she was taking off. She saw colors..."I feel more centered in who I am and what I'm doing," said Osborn, now 66, of Providence, R.I. "I don't seem to have those self-doubts like I used to have. I feel much more grounded (and feel that) we are all connected."...
Scientists reported Tuesday that when they surveyed volunteers 14 months after they took the drug, most said they were still feeling and behaving better because of the experience.Two-thirds of them also said the drug had produced one of the five most spiritually significant experiences they'd ever had...
Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways...
BUT - Here's my favorite part -
"...that despite the spiritual characteristics reported for the drug experiences, the study says nothing about whether God exists."
Discuss.
So we end up at Niles' house and are immediately told that all guys are not allowed to wear pants. For no good reason everyone complies with this request/demand. We basically sat around and watched Bad Brains music videos until mean scenester girl discloses the fact that she has Kip Winger's phone number. Niles really wants to call the lead singer to the glam metal band Winger. Mean scenester girl keeps telling him that if he calls it better be funny and he better not ruin it for her because she wants to call Kip Winger later. Niles seems to ignore this for the most part and it looks like he has nothing at all and that he is, in fact, 'winging it.' Which is where the term actually came from, Kip's impromptu perfomances were later coined as 'winging it'. Anyway, Niles put on the speakerphone and everyone could hear it ring, then go to voicemail - "Hey, this is Kip, leave a message."
Niles - "Hey Kip Winger, lead singer of Winger, this is Niles Piles, lead singer of the Crocodiles, and I was wondering if you wanted to open up for my band. Anyway, if you're interested give me a call at 1-800-MAKEOUTWITHADUDE." Click.
While some details are left out, people mostly just went to sleep. Chris slept on the couch at Niles, woke up and had awkard conversation with Niles' mean roommate, who was not stoked on having a random guy sleeping on the couch. Then Chris calls me to find out how to get to where I am and to inform me that he has lost his shirt somehow. I tell him that he definitely had it when we left the bar, so it has to be at that house. He never found it and had to walk a couple blocks through Baltimore topless with giant, white, dollar store sunglasses on.
Krysta still wasn't feeling great and neither was Alison, but after a delicious breakfast everyone was right as rain. The rest of the day consisted of us driving around the suburbs looking for snowball stands. I had my fill of snowballs that day and at 5pm Krysta, Chris and I started our drive home, exactly 24 hours after we arrived.
During the car ride we got so hungry that we decided to stop at Cracker Barrel. This started as a joke, but let me say, you get so much food for 9 dollars its amazing. The atmosphere is sad, and there are dangerous tools and weapons hanging all over, but you can get nothing but vegetable sides if you want, unlimited sweet tea, and then put syrup and butter on them biscuits...amazing. Also, perhaps the perfect finish to a delightfully odd 24 hour road trip.
Thanks to all who were involved for keeping it so real the entire time. I'm glad I have friends that are okay with spending a day doing nothing but eating snowballs.
Thanks to TJ for this one:
This was the signature on an email from one of my clients, which confused me to no end:
Esther F. Watts
a.k.a. Bonnie
