Is there a blog from a 7-11 clerks point of view? I bet it would be a pretty great blog if is was run my someone clever/funny/dashingly handsome. Anyway, I was just in 7-11 and I got stuck behind two lottery players. This is a subculture I want to know more about. By it's nature it attracts those low on the socioeconomic scale and worsens those already battling addictions. I'm not talking about your mom getting a scratch off at the grocery store because she was 'feeling lucky'. I'm talking about the hard core users. The people, like the two women in front of me, spend hours at a 7-11 playing every type of lottery there is. I believe they refer to it as 'diversifying funds.' Is there a documentary about this somewhere? These women, who were in their 50's and 70's respectively (not each one at the same time a la john claude van damme timecop style), were dropping so much slang it was comical.
"Magic pick three tonight? No? Magic 5? Ok then, let me get 2 simple pinks and what's the latest out? ok, 5 of the crazy 7s"
Then I bought a Slurpee with change I found in my car because I didn't have my wallet.
Magic Mushrooms Have Long Lasting Benefits
NEW YORK - In 2002, at a Johns Hopkins University laboratory, a business consultant named Dede Osborn took a psychedelic drug as part of a research project. She felt like she was taking off. She saw colors..."I feel more centered in who I am and what I'm doing," said Osborn, now 66, of Providence, R.I. "I don't seem to have those self-doubts like I used to have. I feel much more grounded (and feel that) we are all connected."...
Scientists reported Tuesday that when they surveyed volunteers 14 months after they took the drug, most said they were still feeling and behaving better because of the experience.Two-thirds of them also said the drug had produced one of the five most spiritually significant experiences they'd ever had...
Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways...
BUT - Here's my favorite part -
"...that despite the spiritual characteristics reported for the drug experiences, the study says nothing about whether God exists."
Discuss.
So we end up at Niles' house and are immediately told that all guys are not allowed to wear pants. For no good reason everyone complies with this request/demand. We basically sat around and watched Bad Brains music videos until mean scenester girl discloses the fact that she has Kip Winger's phone number. Niles really wants to call the lead singer to the glam metal band Winger. Mean scenester girl keeps telling him that if he calls it better be funny and he better not ruin it for her because she wants to call Kip Winger later. Niles seems to ignore this for the most part and it looks like he has nothing at all and that he is, in fact, 'winging it.' Which is where the term actually came from, Kip's impromptu perfomances were later coined as 'winging it'. Anyway, Niles put on the speakerphone and everyone could hear it ring, then go to voicemail - "Hey, this is Kip, leave a message."
Niles - "Hey Kip Winger, lead singer of Winger, this is Niles Piles, lead singer of the Crocodiles, and I was wondering if you wanted to open up for my band. Anyway, if you're interested give me a call at 1-800-MAKEOUTWITHADUDE." Click.
While some details are left out, people mostly just went to sleep. Chris slept on the couch at Niles, woke up and had awkard conversation with Niles' mean roommate, who was not stoked on having a random guy sleeping on the couch. Then Chris calls me to find out how to get to where I am and to inform me that he has lost his shirt somehow. I tell him that he definitely had it when we left the bar, so it has to be at that house. He never found it and had to walk a couple blocks through Baltimore topless with giant, white, dollar store sunglasses on.
Krysta still wasn't feeling great and neither was Alison, but after a delicious breakfast everyone was right as rain. The rest of the day consisted of us driving around the suburbs looking for snowball stands. I had my fill of snowballs that day and at 5pm Krysta, Chris and I started our drive home, exactly 24 hours after we arrived.
During the car ride we got so hungry that we decided to stop at Cracker Barrel. This started as a joke, but let me say, you get so much food for 9 dollars its amazing. The atmosphere is sad, and there are dangerous tools and weapons hanging all over, but you can get nothing but vegetable sides if you want, unlimited sweet tea, and then put syrup and butter on them biscuits...amazing. Also, perhaps the perfect finish to a delightfully odd 24 hour road trip.
Thanks to all who were involved for keeping it so real the entire time. I'm glad I have friends that are okay with spending a day doing nothing but eating snowballs.
Thanks to TJ for this one:
This was the signature on an email from one of my clients, which confused me to no end:
Esther F. Watts
a.k.a. Bonnie
This alarm clock steals your mobile phone and randomly shuffles through your contact list and calls someone every three minutes after the desired wake up time.
alice wang
Oh! When it calls your co-workers and ex-girlfriends it says this
If I had liveblogged this I could have gotten work done today...
So where were we...oh yeah, The Bloody Bucket. A bar that is surprisingly diverse for being all white.
Anyway, since the beer was .83 cents a bottle and didn't taste different enough from PBR for me to care, there was a fair amount of drinking going on.
1am ish - Matt starts singing Heart of Gold by Neil Young. He ad libs his own lyrics and sings the praises of gastric bypass. Chris grabs Alison and says, "let's get up to the front, your man is singing." Someone hands me a shot of Hypnotique, a drink I didn't know was still being made in the US. A drink that should not be made anywhere. Krysta disappears. Turns out she 'feel ill' and had to be taken home.
2am - Matt and Alison get into a conversation with 'Bear' that involved, "This tattoo of a bear was really just to cover up what was there before...69...breakfast of champions. I was going to get teeth and blood on it but i was afraid it would scare the grandkids" Not as much as the idea of grandad 69'n. Anyway, at some point I realize the bar is closing/closed and step outside. I realize that I am outside of a Pepsi bottling plant in some industrial section of Baltimore. The faint smell of 'hitting bottom' wafts up towards my nose and mingles with the scent of either a dumpster or open sewage lines. Apparently, a woman sitting down on a milk crate, talking on a cell phone at 2am asked me if I was gay. I didn't hear this and Matt says that I was staring off half laughing to myself. Meanwhile one of the regular guys at the bar was standing around and a sketchy pool playing thug walks by and regular guy says 'don't worry partner, i dont think she was talking to you' to which sketchy pool playing thug replys 'your problem is that you dont love life.'
Then the rest of team drunk rolls out and 3 of Krysta's friend walk across the street to the pepsi plant and try to get into one of the big trucks. As they climb all over it a cop rolls by...and does nothing.
Niles then decides that he can drive all 7 people back to his place in a chevy calvalier (4-door model). We pile into the car with alison sitting on mean scenester girl, who basically reminded me of the girl in the movie Waiting that is really mean and flashes everyone to gross them out. She flashed no one though and was thus less interesting.
Up soon - Part 4 - Niles house
In case you're still in the dark, RZA (Bobby Digital) from the Wu Tang Clan has launched a hip hop chess playing website entitled: WuChess. There's a good article on NYT about it if you're interested. From the article, "Instead of a horse’s head, for example, the knight is a silhouette of a martial-arts fighter flying through the air."
Somewhere around midnight we are told that the place we need to be is called "The Bloody Bucket." Apparently, there is karaoke going down and it's going to be fun. '
When we arrive at a place that is unusually similar to Cruzers in Norfolk. Except instead of a dodgy brick building with a misspelled sign and filled to the brim with Filipinos, this place has no sign at all and is as well lit as your local Sheetz. One might even say that it is filled with sad shmeople downing drinkz. The upside? You can get a 6 pack of National Bohemian for 5 dollars, making it the only place cheaper than Richmond or Laos to drink. Matt also believes this to be a 'tasty beer'. I believe the 'taste' is heavy metals. First, the characters, then the events...
Cast of Characters:
Sketchy pool playing thugs - having difficult time playing pool in small crowded bar, especially when they have to shoot one handed as the other is pulling up their pants constantly. After some discussion it is agreed that they were malnourished as children causing their faces to look like they are constantly being pressed up against a window. Nonexistent window faces.
FGS - There's always one guy that thinks he's the life of the party. This was an overweight guy in his twenties singing every single song, he knew all the words to 'we didn't start the fire', he kept jumping on and off of the chairs, sliding across a floor almost too dirty to walk on, and ruining other people's duets. He made me thankful that my song "I Can't go for That" by Hall and Oates wasn't called.
Bear - An older, heavy set nice gentleman. A true regular of "The Bloody Bucket." He loves singing love songs with his wife and talking about his grandkids/tattoos.
Supporting Characters - Niles, Mean Scenester Girl, Gilligan, and other drunken friends.
I hate long posts and I'm really hungry.
To be continued...
the masquerade party - w4m - 21 (grace st)
Reply to: pers-****
Date: 2008-06-30, 11:10AM EDT
you were standing outside with your girl for awhile. you had on a little hat and a no-sleeved shirt, and rode a track bike with riser bars. you kept eyein' me, i think. i was sitting on the ground watching the fight. just sayin heyyy.
Matt's post on the events is concise, well worded and entertaining, just like Matt. I will give you a much much more detailed breakdown of what transpired, as best as I can remember it. Please note: times and conversations are estimates and we walked/cash cabbed everywhere unless otherwise noted.
5pm - Arrive in Baltimore. Meet up with Alison and Matt, head to dinner.
6pm - Dinner with Matt's friends. We went to the Owl Bar, an old speakeasy that had the same feel as a dungeon with creepy owl 'flare' all over. I drink a double white russian and listen to stories about Rock of Love, a show I have never seen. I hear a reference to 'season 1, episode 8' and finish the drink quickly. After talking about television the conversation moved to the internet and podcasting or minidisc casting.
8pm - We roll up to a brewery that seemed like it was in the basement of a basement. I think there was a designated creepy handjob room. I had beer that tasted the way potweed smells. Matt got a drink that proved to have too much flavor going on, a theme of the next 24 hours. The music was impressive and spanned from the Dead Kennedys to Har Mar Superstar.
9pm - We walk around inner harbor trying to ride a water taxi, the rain thwarts this mightily. We instead decide to find a bathroom and end up using the one inside the Hard Rock Cafe Baltimore, a shirt you've never seen anyone wear. A noticably drunk man makes the astute observation that Matt indeed 'Knows whats up.'
10pm- We meet up with Krysta's friends at another bar, and I order a round of drinks for everyone.
1015pm - Everyone is pissed that I ordered nothing but Tuaca and Barenjager (a honey liquor).
11pm - Finished everyone's drinks, make choice selections on the jukebox.
This concludes part one, as this is where things stop being 'normal' and get real Baltimore, real fast.
Bicyclist hits bear while going 45 mph
BOULDER, Colo., June 26 (UPI) -- A Colorado man said he is glad he survived after hitting a large bear while traveling about 45 mph on his bicycle.
Tim Egan was on a bike ride in Boulder County when he had an unexpected collision with a bear he estimates weighed 500 pounds and was six feet tall, KCNC-TV, Denver, reported.
"This bear looked at me with a look of terror on his face and sort of made a noise. I looked at him with a look of terror and we went, 'aaaahhhhh'," Egan said.
Egan, 53, said his bike flipped over the bear and smacked the pavement before the huge animal ran away.
"When I tell people, they say 'Right, are you kidding me, who hits a bear?'" he said.
Egan said he was able to ride his bike to a medical center to get treatment for cracked ribs, cuts and abrasions after Tuesday's incident.
So I'm sitting here at work blogged out my mind and listening to Radiohead. The song No Surprises came on and I wondered if there would ever be a time in which I would take the lyrics more literally and less sarcastically. Will there be a time that I really do want a life with 'no alarms, no surprises'? We all think we won't, but we've all seen products of previous generations that have said the same thing and they ended up pretty much like everyone else. What happened?
I'd say that there is a part of me that will always want lukewarm coffee and a 'comfy' couch. If I were completely honest, I'd say it's a very very large part. The problem is that if I go the easy route and then late in life the small, adventure seeking part forms a coup, I won't have as many options. So off I go seeking adventure. Maybe by doing so you satiate that part and it stops pushing you to do things. Maybe the people that don't seek fun and adventure ignore it until it shrivels up and dies. I guess that's how so many people become so homogenized. In the end, the result is the same for most, fun/adventure is quiet and they live quiet lives of sitcoms and naps.
The difference is how you get to the end I guess.
But sometimes, that tiny part doesn't die. It's rare, but sometimes if you're really really good at fun you get to keep it. For example.
So I was reading the article about NC residents getting new license plates because the default prefix was WTF. I wasn't going to post it, although I love it when the internet shows up in real life. The real gem was a link in the article entitled 20 Internet Acronyms All Parents Should Know. You know most of them, but some of them (the picture on this post) are lol funny. Look at it, its just hands and it says GYPO then at the bottom left it says, "Get Your Pants Off."
One of the other really great things about this flash tutorial on acronyms is that you can turn off the caption at the bottom so you can quiz yourself! Brilliant.
From the article:
'These studies "suggest that we're about to have a paradigm shift in how we look at developmental disorders, like autism," he explains. These illnesses should no longer be viewed as something a person is born with, according to Silva, who believes these disorders can be eliminated by altering the brain's biochemistry.'
Like I've always said, good drugs make good people better. Well, in this case, retarded mice.
qt followin me yesterday?? - w4m - 18 (vcu area)
Reply to: pers-733861969@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-26, 6:34PM EDT
u and sum other delish boyz walk out of panda vag. qts, even if u r gayyy or sumthingg, you should d8 one of my gay friendz. they r sexay. if u r not gay take me 2 dinner! iz u a vegan? 2 bad 4 me i lyk sum m3at ;)
If you are looking for redness relief that is like getting punched straight in the eyeball by Jack Frost, then these eyedrops are for you.
I've been using them for about 3 days now and I'm addicted. Sometimes your eyes need a 'cooling lubricant'. Visine is old hat, you need to feel some pain before you can fully realize real comfort.
My eyes are seriously so juicy right now.
Have you listened to the 'leaked' 9 songs off of the new Guns and Roses Chinese Democracy?
Apparently Axl Rose has spent a large portion of his life creating the worst album ever. I hear that it is going to be featured in the new movie, Turds, starring Shia Lebuff. Its a follow up to the movie Holes. Seriously, There is no audience for this album. Musical taste for most people has changed 3-4 times since he started this album. I hope your prepared for the occasional Judge Ido reference.
Have you listened to the Weezer (Red) Album?
Seriously, Rivers Cuomo spent the last few years straight eatin' turds. Dear Rivers, I remember when you were awesome at what you did, now you are 38 and apparently eat turds by the truckload. You continually tarnish the memory of the first time I heard Pinkerton.
That's from the website Takagi Fresh Seat.
I could really use a remote controlled warming toilet seat on cold mornings. I usually sit on the seat in my pants until the cold slowly comes through my pants, then I take the pants off. At least that way I don't go into hypothermic shock from a toilet seat made of republicans hearts. Zing! Oh, more like: Republican Farts.
I play gameboy!
Please don’t call it a toy
I’m into Mario kart!
And when toad don’t do his part
I stick him with a turtle shell
Send him spinning to hell
Don’t battle me on wifi
Cause I’m the kinda guy
Who’ll burn you with
The drifting, the shifting
The sweet ass maneuvers
While you suck worse
Than a room full hoovers!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
Eff tetris!
Yo, that game is whack!
40 some levels and I don’t get jack
‘cept a headache, and that aint fit
I’m not trying to deal with blocks and sh—
Not when mario’s got his doctorate!
Dr. Mario! Now that’s a game
My anti-virus gonna put you to shame
I drop medicine, like it rains from the sky
I’m quicker than you, you cant deny
The only person you beat is your little sis
I got your side so viral you got tuberculosis!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
I play gameboy!
Pixels princess pikachu,
Better watch out or he’ll gameboy you!
Castlevania!
Yo, that game is fun
Apparently Dracula lives in the sun
In the future 2538
Its hell on earth he’s trying to create
Call me Mr. Belmont!
I attack with a whip
Let me fight Dracula and I’ll make death stick
You barely beat the game in easy mode
You better not step to me, cause
I invented the konami code!
Of all the great things George Carlin did for freedom of speech and comedy in general, this is how he'll be remembered by most...
'Bill & Ted' actor Carlin dies, aged 71
Monday, June 23 2008, 13:26 BST
By Alex Fletcher, Entertainment Reporter
Rex Features
The comedian, who played Rufus in 1989's Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, died of heart failure yesterday.
full article - not worth reading.
